Year Links

Hmm my 1 year blog-a-vesary is coming up. Maybe I'll post a retrospective of 2008 some time. Seems proper. For now I have some over due links for you all. All you random international people who come to my website. I hope to go visit all of your countries some day. And on to the links.

If you're feeling down, watch this guy...and feel even more down that you don't have one of your own.

If that wasn't enough. DUCK!

After 3 semesters of Japanese at UT. I can actually understand this pretty fluently. Albeit it's probably written by American people.

You say you like techno? You say you like Anime? You say you don't know what is an AMV? Well Wikipedia it I'm not gonna explain. But I will (Epilepsy Warning) exemplify. Does AMV even have a Wiki? ...hrm oh well.

All that video watching make you thirsty? Well, too bad. It's not your decision whether or not this purple something is gonna go down your throat.

lol.

Week Links: Sambakza version.

I can't stress this enough. If you're reading this post.

WATCH THESE ANIMATIONS

Sambakza is a team of flash animators (I believe they also do web-comics), based in Korea, that to me are some of the best story tellers and animators using Flash in the world. They are Korean, so these music video are going to have Korean music but the message is there no matter what language you speak. It is a 5 part story, and gets better with every iteration. Just click "Watch this Movie" on all of the links.

There she is!!!

There she is!! Step 2

There she is!! Step 3

There she is!! Step 4

There she is!! Final Step

SO GOOOOD!

Mobile: Makes no difference where

As per usual. No real surprises here. Country and anonymity still not enough.

Found something out last night.

Two summers ago, I was that red guy to one of my friends.

If someone knows if this is a web-comic...

Please tell me where I can read more.

His face is priceless in that last frame.

Social Paradox

I think I spend enough of my time thinking about myself. Not that kind of thinking about myself, the philosophical thinking about myself and why I do things. Tonight, is going to be me analyzing my social habits and skills. I, myself, try my best to individual amongst everybody else. Not so much to stand out and bring attention to myself, but to think differently from everyone else. One of the ways I do that is simply straight apathy. If you see me on the street, I do not care about you. Or at least what you think about me.

Anonymity, can be very powerful.

Many times have I convinced people, who I have never met before ever, to tell me what is bugging them, and I proceed to hand out my advice on the situation. Why? Why bother? Why would they do that? Why not? I mean, I don't care really what you think, and I would be a perfect objective stance to whatever they would be facing. Odds are, if this is the first time I have met you, this just might also be the last time I am going to see you. This can easily split into a, "Don't waste your time with hate," speech but maybe some other time. My point is that, when you stop caring about what others think sometime you can do whatever you want. I pull of lot of strength and confidence when I meet you people from my anonymity.

Thus, poses the paradox. If you talk to my friends and ask about me, I'm pretty sure you would get a generic description of my attitude. Easy going, likable, wears flip-flops all the time, and then probably some odd men out. This is because when I am with people I consider my friends, that fog of anonymity begins to really clear up and I feel like I must act a certain way because that is how they have come to know me. Either a really nice guy or a sarcastic jerk. An outgoing schmoozer, or a background prop. I always love meeting new people, but it's the lasting relationships that confine me to act like something other than myself.

This is extra hard when trying to form those deeper kinds of relationships. The kind in your family, or with "best friends," or your special others. The first two come easier, unless you have been living a lie your whole life, because those usually have a pretense of knowing you from an early start and after long periods of time the ruse of ambiguity just fades away. That last case is what is compelling me to write about my social mind. To sum up the paradox.

Paradox: Not knowing people lets me be very approachable, to the people whom I want to grow close. Growing close means caring about their judgment, so I keep myself away even though I want to form those bonds.

*Aside* I find that, I really don't care about anyone's opinion ever. Except when I am interested in someone, then that is the only opinion I ever care about, and the human interactive framework in me crumbles down to the bumbling guy I was in middle school. I wish I had to courage to finally really say something to her.

Week Links: Outdated version

This week seemed to go on forever...

Alica Keys is still hot.

I'm still a geek and still like anime.

If I haven't shown this to you yet, you need a punch in the face.

It's the small things in life that make you feel like the world is a good place.

This last one, just watch it it's great.

Well, it's nothing I'm not used to.

As per usual. (As usual as this blog can get.) I'll start with a comment about this blog itself.

It's becoming a vent.

That aside. I made sure to leave my self some messages this time to make sure I remember what to write about. If there is anything ever on here you do not understand or think it comes off a little weird. There's most likely a double meaning behind it, and is probably not too hard to figure out what I'm talking about if you just think about it for a while. It would also help to know me better.



And that aside. I forget if I have written about this, but I'm stuck in a loop. Time, linear. History...wait...this all sounds definitely familiar. Familiar, yes, but different I'm still typing. Even my posts are looping. I just can not seem to escape. If you have seen my Facebook in the past week, I have been trying to play the optimist. I think back to before high school, and I noticed that went I walk around now I am never looking up. My head is always to the ground. 4 years I have been at this university, and just keeping my head up changes the look entirely. That said, just because it looks different does mean shit. Like I said I'm in a loop. So guess what happened, if you said, "that same thing as last time," you would pretty much be right. Starts with a good, "Things will be different! It'll all be good and fun this time! Everyone else always has a blast."

Why not? Can I? Be like them?

Of course them is not always good. That's me at least trying to be a little positive. I tried, I mean I really tried, and thought it was going good for a while. Then when one thing goes wrong, I go and make an excuse. An excuse about being not like them, and that's how I like it. Of course an excuse can always be excused, if the excuse is true. (Trying the optimism again.) I've been trying to achieve some goals this year, and often I think of something that is beyond my control that has stopped me from doing so. So now, when it simply comes down to the fact that I tried, and failed, it comes to me as a surprise and disappointment. Desperately looking for reason for the outcome, it is simply the case that I am just not used to rolling snake eyes on fair dice. We've all got in our head what we hope for, dream about, fantasize.

Is this all just fantasy?

Responsibility sucks.

I'm coming back...

Expect it.

Vlogs and stuff...

EEE PC review.

Maybe some video game reviews...

But right now,

Japanese class stabbing me in the back.

Chemistry lab is twisting the knife.

And my CS classes are kicking me while I'm down.

Graduation May '09 in the making.

A good day.

Welcome baby John (henry)

Mobile: God Willing

One more year. Congratulations '08!

Mobile: La Madeleine

Fresh fruit tart.

Mobile: Ice Ice Baby

Hailed last night. I live across the street from this.

I have a final in 11 hours.

But this trailer is way too good to pass up.



Oh man. June 12. Courage is Solid.

EDIT: This trailer is so good, my blog can't even contain it!

Mobile: My finals situation

That fish is gonna devour me.

Mobile: God is real.

QED

Week Links: Pre-Finals edition.

No this wasn't the good cop-out I was talking about before. Unfortunately, my link list is not accumulating as much as I thought it would be doing. I am just going with what I got. It's the beginning of finals week for me so...that's a week to post.

Ever play that game Paperboy? Have you ever wanted to play Paperboy with the real Paperboy?

Baby + Asian + The Beatles = this.

Watch this flash movie, and feel artsy and better for it. It one of those movies that made me feel those...things...that the brain sends, but we say it come from the heart....Emotion! That's the word.

If you thought the Facebook typing application was addicting. This one is actually fun.

If you haven't noticed yet, my blog posts are aimed to my hobbies, likes, and dislikes. If you haven't noticed that those have been following a trend, then stop stalking me and read someone else's blog. Otherwise, try and categorize me and/or yourself.

My blog is getting more and more structured, and I found out how to mobile blog. (Which as it ends up is 100x smaller blogging, but at least 10x more fun doing it.) This place is looking up.

Mobile blogging test GO!

Mobile blogging test GO!

I'm blogging.

What's that?

Because I can, shut up.

I know nobody really reads this thing, but it is nice to have delusions of...uhh...camaraderie. But as a warning to anyone who might be reading this, this post is going to be an update/introspective post, so no opinion talking here. Just what's going on in my life, and annoying thought questions...maybe. And I'll get around to posting those anime reviews sometime.

I feel like my posts have been lacking pictures.

Hey look it's Megaman! He saves the day, even when it doesn't involve Mavericks or Robot Masters. Thanks Megaman!

Anyways, let's see. My sister has recently had a door of opportunity open up for her. Hooray! I am very proud, I'm glad at least someone in my family has had somethings going for them. I, on the other hand, have had a door close in San Antonio. But you know what they say, "BLAH -BLAH-BLAH closes BLAH-BLAH-BLAH others open." I really want this Paypal opportunity to work or for Samsung to at least contact me back. I might be holed up somewhere for the next couple of weeks until finals go by. If you do not see me for a while, try my cellular phone.
Oh, I mentioned in a post before, some time before, that I felt that something was missing. I said that I did not think is what that. As is ends up is was partially God. To which I slightly resolved my predicament, thank you CFC Youth Campus Based, hopefully I won't end up disliking this group like I do with most Youth groups/programs/meetings.

Ah-hah! I finally remembered what introspective I wanted to post about.

Friendship. Always a good thing right?...Huh?

When did it get late.

Now I'm tired, oh well. I you really wanted to know that introspective part. Uhh...it was along the lines of...uhh...people I meet....and people I've known...hard to connect. Yeah, good night!

Drawing a blank.

It's almost the end of April, and I'm finally posting again. I made this thing to help me with my writing or something of that sort. Instead, I am using it simply to kill some time. Well...currently I'm using it because I don't feel like sleeping. But I ponder.

Why aren't I posting more?

I mean I have opinions about things. I go through enough conflict and events in my life to record them. Why aren't I posting more?

I figured it out today. In case you don't know, I spend a lot of time in my own head. WAAAYYYY too much time in there. When I am not talking to somebody, most likely, I will be talking to myself. I have easily received some weird looks and hard to answer questions from mumbling or smiling to myself. If you have never talked to yourself before, I mean truly out loud talked to yourself before, then you should take sometime to start simply asking yourself some questions. Don't forget to also respond to them out loud. It is a nice exercise of self-enlightenment. Although, it comes at a disadvantage (at least for me), I usually talk to myself at a bias against myself.

Anyways, I am getting off topic.

Why aren't I posting more? Answer, I do all of my blogging mentally. People use their blogs mainly to feed the need to express themselves or at the very least their opinion on something. All of those opinions and creative thoughts that would go into a blog post, simply end up as thoughts in my head that end in "...I should post that." and also end in "...don't forget, you suck." Here is to attempt number two, may I post more and spend much less time talking to myself and more time talking to a blog.

(If you ever see me, most likely with my head down or up, moving my arms about. I'm probably hidden somewhere in my own mind. Just give a shake or yell my name, I'll most likely snap out of it.)

(Yes, I know I haven't done a Week Links in a while. And I know a perfect cop out to make upfor it suckers.)

Week Links 3: Commercial Edition

I know it's Monday...night.

I don't care. So I'm a day or two late, I'm new.

This is gonna be stuff I wanna get.

Here's some hip-hop video game wear.

If I was hipster, I definitely get this Pikachu fitted hat. Some Neon Tetris kicks wouldn't be so bad while I'm at it.

Unfortunately.

John != Hip;

Why? That last statement is pretty much self explanatory. However, I don't own nearly enough witty T-shirts. Which is why I want the shirt with the love math.

This last thing is the one I'm most likely actually going to buy.

It's a fun card game called Munchkin. I'm debating which kind to get, I think Munchkin Fu is going to be the deck of choice.

Have a nice we...rest of the week.

I should write in a scholarly journal.

The article will be titled,

"The Effect of Women's Relationship Status with Respect to Connections with John Muniz."

I'm 0-5 with my theory of women. Well, 5-0 depending on how you look at it. Hell. make it 6-0 just to make the numbers look higher. And if I want it to be more general of a case, 7-0. I'll call it Munizian Theory, actually...7-0...Muniz's Law of Relationship Equilibria.

The Muniz Effect.

I'm gonna be rich

I think I'm really gonna buy this shirt.

Month in Review.

It's now 15 mintues into April. "Rabbit Rabbit" everyone. A lot of things...hmm, let's see...plenty of...no...

THINGS happened in March.

Let me know if I'm missing anything.

• Umm...


• Yeah...


• Oh! Spring Break...
  • I went home.
  • Goodphil.


• A wave of tests.


• Let's see...


• I'm still single...ladies?

March sucked on the whole. Nothing happened. Even Spring Break was a let down. At least the day I celebrate when my Lord and savior has risen, has come and past. Come to think of it, Easter was actually more fun than Spring Break this year...wow. In retrospect, something must have happened during Spring Break, because from the beginning of that week onward things just went bleh.

Oh, to quote Reel Big Fish, "I can't do that, so I'm givin' up again."

New month on the horizon, I'll try and blank slate it. Keep my mind and heart open, come what may. I will try to even blog some more, so as to not keep my 50 visitors in such suspense of what will happen to me next. I'm think of doing a review of Genshiken. I also just downloaded Lucky Star. (That was probably a mistake.)

Well here's to April. Don't screw up.

Week Links 2

This week:

was going to suck...was sucking during...and in retrospect, sucked.

(My vocabulary has reduced to that of a 7th grader. At least I'm not calling everything gay.)

This has managed to hold my attention once every three days this week. I wonder how much rubbing alcohol that took.

I'm taking this one from a "cyberspace" class I'm taking. It's pictures! I suggest staring at them in a Starbucks, with your laptop screen facing the entrance or order line so people can get a nice view and will think you're upper crusty.

Two links for the week?

That's gay...






Ah shit.

I've always wanted to post stupid shit.

I have a blog now...just try and stop me.

Which Disney Hero Are You?
	You are part Tarzan. You feel out of place when you venture away from your home and into the heart of the city. Your whole life you've been trying to fit in with the styles and trends, but now you're starting to realize that it's OK to enjoy simplicity. Watch out though! Someone your complete opposite is about to enter your life.
	You are part Simba. You're young, naive, and misguided. However, don't fear, because your growth comes exponentially with hard times ahead. Only then will you reach the goals you've set out to accomplish.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Week Links

Haha...get it?

I've never had real mochi before...I want to try some now.

It's all about the slow-mo at the end.

Because the first 4 games were just so good.

Boxhead: Zombie Wars

Come join UT FSA...we can dance.

The good ol' times.

When people in general weren't so complicated, and all you worried about was tomorrow.




When you weren't with someone...and they were...and they knew it.

When you just couldn't take hints, that those jokes weren't between you two.

When everyone was simply a jerk and they felt the need to complain about on their LiveJournals.

Fun with the silent e.

Spiderman...


Spidermane...

I said I wouldn't

I've lied.

To myself.

It's more along the lines of, "Who am I kidding?"

As a bit of a disclaimer, this is going to be a DEB post...I know, I said I wouldn't. Or at least I hoped.

My eye lids are getting heavy and I can't understand Japanese, so let me get to typing.

When was it? When was I simply incapable of "having fun." I remember days that I didn't regret. I remember times when I...I knew people. Happiness is but fleeting. (Wow, this is starting to suck.) I can't help it, if sometimes I like to be a bit upper crusty. It is who I am. I won't change that. I can't change that. Maybe that's why. (いんぼう。。。）Things just don't work out. The best laid plans of mice and men often go to shit. (Hey, isn't it "awry") "...to shit." Just sounds better, shut up. "Why aren't you ever up there?!" Because, I can't nearly numb my emotions enough by myself. "John, you didn't have to." But...I guess I just care too much. Damn, compassion. One of those traits that seems to stab you in the back every time. (Please excuse any typos that might be in this post...my eyes are closed.) あの女がいない。So my everything, I suppose was a failure. (Oaawwww....) There certainly was a lot of bubble bursting. And easily a lot of expectations met. I really need to stop running simulations in my head, none of them are ever true. EVER.

Hey, two europeans. Bonjour, or something. Hola perhaps. Guten tag to my blog. Hey, that rhymes.

Eww those burps don't taste very good.

Why did that happen.

Ok, I'm done.

Later, hopefully.








"How about....HELL NO!"

What did I come all the way out here for?
I'm just...a rock on the side of the road!

You're wrong!

I'm awake.

And when I'm up awake late enough, I get to contemplating.



I get sad and reminiscent often.

It's definitely Lenten time.

Haven't posted in while. Still don't know what to say...

No red meat.

No going to Kotaku.com or Facebook.

No non-diet soda.

No chocolate.

Some more personal...

I've spent half of the past week coding.

I've had three tests, back to back to back.

I. Am. Tired.

What may come.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
-George Santayana






Wise words Mr. Santayana. How ever, I am compelled to disagree. I think he was close. I will make my own modification.









"Those who cannot remember the past, are only the only ones surprised when it happens again."
-John Vincent Muniz









I added the Vincent because my middle name is cool.

Time, straight line.

History, circular...most likely spheroid.

If you learn about the past and history or you remain ignorant, has nothing to do with the fact that that you are fated for it to happen again. Now of course I do not mean exact same course of action and events taking place, that's why I mentioned history is most likely spheroid. The trip from point A to point B may not be exactly the same, but when it comes down to it, it's all just a bunch of circles. Calculus teaches that.

Alot of things in my life, seem to just repeat. (Especially my classes, but that's a different kettle 'o fish.) For middle school onward, I seem to just be stuck in this loop. It's not necessarily bad. Just a little too predictable now. If I graphed all high and low points of it all, I would end up with this sine wave of...fortune, for lack of better words. (Boy, I'm sure not skimping out on the math terminology in this post.) Condemned has such a finite connotation to it, doesn't it? Condemned. I don't feel so much condemned, per se, as much as I feel screwed over. It like repeating history is just a way of nature, and I can only have it run its course. After a while, you just know what is going to happen, in a general sense. You accept the fortune coming your way and brace for the downfall. I am not quite sure what I want to say in the post here, I'm probably just really bored, I have just noticed so many parallelisms that occur in my life and think that it cannot be all simply attributed to coincidence.

SO, I have deduced it down to fate.

As soon I figure out how to change that, I'll finally be able to break; out of that loop.

(It's as if my blogging corresponds to some English paper I have to write, but I actually just like to start things with a quote. This is all really what just pops into my head.)

Dream Analysis

Okay.

So ever since...probably about the beginning of last summer, before I would go to bed, I would say my prayers. Every night, along with all my well-wishing for those I love, I would pray for a dream. What can I say, I love to dream. (Not in the figurative or curing cancer sense, literal dreaming.) My real life lacks a certain "oomph" that I can get when I dream. While you're dreaming you can feel all of the emotions and experiences you've been missing in the land of waking.

But enough of that poetry mess.

My recent past dreams have been a little weird...to say the least. A quite entertaining one involves, my roommate Steven's relationship, and I suppose playing too much "Ninja Gaiden Sigma."

So in this one, I'm apparently the ninja in "Ninja Gaiden Sigma" who has just been able to pin down this really strong fiend, who happens to be Steven's girlfriend. I haven't spent that much time with her, so her face in my dream was a bit fuzzy. But it was definitely Steve's girl. How am I so sure? Because while I am pinning her down, I am yelling at my roommate, who has this really big sword in his hands, to finish her off! (Yeah...really weird.)

So Steve is there.

Sword raised.

Me yelling, "Come on Steven! You have to do it!"

Steven is objecting, "I can't!"

"You have to! It's not her anymore! Just another fiend!"

"I can't do it." My roommate dejectedly admits as the sword fall from his clutches. While the fiend escapes my grip and gets away.

That one was pretty out there but this is not why I am posting tonight at 4 A.M. My most recent dream is by far the biggest mindfuck that hit me ever. I mean, this last one was some really hardcore Freudian shit. (You can tell how serious, I am by my use of expletives.)

Just to warn you, my dreams get pretty disjoint jumping from scene to scene. I also know now, after thinking about it for a while, why most of this is happening. Ask me of a real explanation later.

OK. So for some reason I'm on this trip on a boat. I am in the cabin of the ship, so it's just like being in a room, but I definitely know I am on a boat. There are like 3 other people there but I can't tell who they are, besides some captain figure. They must not have been very important. Oh yeah, in this cabin is a bed I pretty much reside on during most of the dream. So eventually, (After some dream-time-lapse) we stop and the captain guy and the other people open the door and leave the cabin of the boat. I get up to see where we are, and as it ends up we are at this like dried up dock. "Yeah...uhh...ok," is what's going through my dream-self's head. (Insert disjointedness here.) So I decide to go back on this boat. I open the door to the boat, which now has been connected to this hallway for some reason. (I left through one door, but came in the boat through this hallway door.) And now there is my friend from Kansas at this desk angrily, but loudly, mumbling to himself, ("him" in this next quote is actually someone's name [for anonymity sake], that my friend from Kansas does not know AT ALL) "Damn him! Why did she go to him! It's all his fault!" and other stuff along those lines. Again I am thinking, "Yeah...uhh...ok." and go to the bed and fall asleep. After a while someone wakes me up with, get this, a kiss on the forehead. The sensation of her lips on my forehead, felt quite real. As is ends up, the one who woke me up was this girl I hung out with a lot of the time this past summer. "Hey. How you doin?" in this calming gentle voice she tells me. I can't ever quite piece a sentence together when I'm dreaming, but I realize, "Hey, why not take this time to actually kiss her now? I mean she kissed me first." So I try to lean for this small kiss, but here lips are just always like slightly moving away every time I lean in. Its not like she was pushing me away, it was more like a slight tilt of her head was JUUUUST enough for me to not reach.

Then after a little while, I woke up.

"GOD DAMNIT!! It was a dream!" Was screaming through my head. "WTF! What was all of that going on?!"


It's taken me a little bit, and I've self-analyzed what been going on. And boy, subconscious sure is hiding thing my awake mind has been wondering about for a while.

What to do.

Class at 5:00-6:30 on Mondays and Wenesdays.

That's it.

I feel like a bum...








...Until Tuesday or Thursday rolls around.

Welcome to Sympathy.

"Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: What is that?...Muffins!"

-Demetri Martin

I find that when ever you truly relate to an anime character the relation is always bad. It's never: I know how he feels...that Speed Racer. I recently watched an anime suggested to be by a friend called "N.H.K. にようこそ" or "Welcome to the N.H.K."

It's basically about this guy who is a complete good-for-nothing shut-in ,for lack of better description, who eventually seeks help to cure him of his, what the series calls, hikikomori ways.

I quite enjoyed it. The show follows only a real handful of characters, which is good, and builds exactly who they are. I'm beginning to think I like shows where you get to know the characters alot. Getting to know the characters, you can't help but relate to what they're going through...well, I can't. This show was obviously aimed at people, in America are called generic nerds, on the Internets are called weaboos, and in Japan are called the otaku. None of the characters are ever really "good" to relate to, I mean, I can rundown a nice annotation of the characters and you take your pick. First is Satou, I man so helplessly caught in a rut his only means of getting out of his current situation, is to find an entirely different rut to...rut around in. Next we have Yamazaki, he got a creative dream to make it big and be successful, except his own "original" views tend to segregate him from his peers not to mention, bad lady luck. There's also Kashiwa, Satou's upperclassmen, successful school and business is jaded by the real world and its nature, she's owns a myriad of drugs to help her feel just the way she wants. The list goes on. And to carry on the generic conflict, there's is a nice relationship love story behind the entire thing that keeps you wanting to know what is going to happen next.

"Oh man, story of my life." I keep telling myself as I watch the show with sympathetic snickers and sighs. I relate well to Satou and Yamazaki, but towards Yamazaki alot more...I mean he's trying to make a video to make it big, has that oh so lovely girl problem...hello? There's a couple of lines he says that will help feed that nice emo side of you like, "Romantic love is a trap designed to expand capitalism." But there was one line specifically, "Nothing happened to me! It's just that my theory from the past has been proven..."

Greatness...that's my character.

This anime is definitely going under personal favorites, although it is definitely not for just anyone to watch. There is a charming love story behind the whole thing but it's probably not as straightforward for non-otaku to keep the show going. If you're curious, just go to veoh.com and search for Welcome to the NHK, they've got them all. I had a rousing good time.


きえるせろ、おんあども！

Stream

Hello.

Hi.

What's up.

Oh, not much. You?

Meh.

Meh? What's that supposed to mean.

Just meh.

Oh come on, something's bothering you.

You're right, but I say meh.

You're not telling me anything.

That's how I am, and for lack of better words and bad anime subbing...I'm perverse, so meh.

You're annoying sometimes, you know.

Yeah.

So what's really on your mind?

Alot, and you'd think I'd have this big fear of what's ahead, but I really just want to know what's missing from me right now.

Missing?

Yeah, ever since school started back in late August, things have been very empty in my life.

You know there's better guidance than me.

Yeah, I went there and I don't think I'm without that.

Sorry bud can't help you, but I know how your feel.

Oh gee, thanks alot.

Hey...shut up.