That guy

Here is a list of adjectives I have come to regret:

• Nice
• Good
• Great
• Cool
• Sweet
• Cute
• Smart
  

Mobile: Company message?

Mobile: So my professor today...

While reciting poetry. He then proceeded to pull a truck with his teeth.

Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani

Ahem...



It seems like recently, the right thing is the wrong decision. It is a little hard to explain what I am feeling without just itemizing some events. How can I put this? Think about Mario, or Luigi, in the first Mario Bros. game. Mario, hard working guy with mad ups. What does a plumber know about saving damsels from fire breathing dinosaur turtles? Not much, but hell he's going to get it done. So the level starts, and after pitfalls, fireballs, brick walls, and close calls, he finally reaches last room of the castle to save...a toadstool, please try again. All the setup, none of the reward.

That is a good metaphor of what is going on in my head right now; except to be more precise when you get to the end of the castle the guy at the end would have to kick Mario in the nards every time it wasn't really the princess. My outlook on how life is treating me right now is that...you can try your best, it just makes the fall hurt harder. It is as if my fortune is asymptotically bounded before real success. If I try to go beyond that line, reset at the bottom! You know the "right thing" spiel? If you don't know the "right thing," think of an old mid 90's feel good movie. The right thing is what the good guy always does. Work hard, be yourself, be reponsible...feh!

I work hard to get those interviews, only to get shot down. Work hard at a good company I'm excited for, during a hiring freeze. When others won't step up, get kicked down by the same old stuff. I get to graduate on time, and leave new friends I wish I met and stuck with 4 years ago. Look out for others, to find no one else watchin your back. I act myself, only to feel alienated.

I'm done. I quit. I'm tired. I thought things were gonna be different. You win reality...again.

I was going to post lyrics from the very appropriate song "Everything Sucks" by Reel Big Fish that have been on my AIM profile forever. I shouldn't have to post it cause people check AIM profiles every 5 minutes still, amirite? Instead here are some more appropriate lyrics

Cause they say it's gonna happen again
Over and over the fun never ends
You'll go to see the doctor cause you haven't got time for the pain
And he'll say it's gonna happen again
Over and over till your living end
You can't give in to the pain that is on the rise
You'll die a little bit inside

Happened Again - The Littlest Man Band

Of course I'm not gonna leave on that sour note. I have been writing this post all weekend actually. Blogging goes well with brooding. I was really down, until I went to church. God knew what I was going through. He's like psychic or something. Today, Sunday, at mass the responsorial psalm were what I had been thinking for a while now. The priest's homily had one underlying message, the message of the psalm.

"The suffering, is not the end of the story."